So…. (a moment of honesty)

Hey everyone.

Hope you’re doing well and are staying safe.

Today I want to do like a follow up on my post of transparency (Transparency among believers in our Christian walks.) and just to be honest about how life is going right now!

Someone once said God can’t fix who you pretend to be. Often times we can pretend on the outside to everyone else everything is fine, and cool! But is that really true?

So… I am someone who has always said to not compare, that comparison kills, and that you should focus on your own race, and not spend too long focusing on others. I’ve written posts about it , I’ve done videos about it.

However! Sometimes it’s really really hard. And I’ll be honest and completely transparent. There’s been times as of late, when I’m just thinking God , when will it be my time? I work so hard in certain areas but then it feels like everyone else is willing. And it can really suck. And because I’ve written so much about how we each have our own journey, it’s been difficult to now think, I’m failing on what I was encouraging other people. There’s been times these past few weeks where I’ve felt not good enough, whether it’s within my writing , or even with just university. I felt like I wasn’t praying enough, or reading my bible enough or just not spending enough time with friends or family. One way or another I felt I wasn’t doing enough.

But, as I started with, I can’t fix what I’m pretending to be.

So, I’m beginning to be a bit more honest and say to myself, this is what I’m feeling. And I can’t change it right now, so what can I do to work through these feelings. What have I been doing about it? Talking about it! Taking time to reassure myself that I’m doing my best. And that’s all I can do.

Secondly recently I have been TIRED! After exam season has finished now, it’s just a feeling of what’s next. And as much as I want to motivate myself to do more , learn more skills , I’ve just lost all energy and motivation. So I’m not sure if you’ve kind of gone through a rollercoaster this lockdown of feeling sometimes you’re super motivated and super pumped to do lots. But other times just don’t have the energy to do anything at all.

I’ve had to remind myself again that there’s really no shame in saying that this week I’m taking it for myself , not to have to look on everyone else , but to just rest – enjoy Netflix and watch films! I think we’re always wanting to do do do, but we forget its okay not to! And to rest. Again, so what have I been doing ? Taking the time and not trying to force myself to do 100 things and then feel inadequate when I don’t. It’s okay to take a break!

I have to remind myself this every single day, but if that’s what it’ll take to get through this period, then it’s okay, but we can only take this one day at a time.

That’s it really.

The reason why I want to share this with you, is just Incase you’re feeling not great, or having an off day. Know that you’re not alone. Know that you’re not the only person going through this. Not everyday is smiling and roses ! But we will get through this time, one day at a time! I started this blog , and I’ve kept the tag lined my story my journey our shared experience and in the way I’ll be honest about achievements, I’ll also be honest with when it’s not going as amazing!

The important thing is that God sees us. And he hears us. He’s never too far to hear us, so be honest and be open with how you’re feeling!

I hope you have a good day

God bless you

~ peace , joy & love

Tk ♥️.

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