Hey, hi , hello and welcome back ♥️
Put your hand up, if you’ve ever said “If only he was like… if only they were a bit more… I wish she was more like…” “I wish you were more…”
Okay, don’t be lying now, Jesus is watching you.
I’m pretty sure nearly all of us have wanted someone to be different. For couples, they may wish their significant other would be more ‘romantic’, often comparing them to a couple from twitter. Or, you wish that your mother was more like your friends’ mother, or your siblings to be a lot less annoying etc.
We’ve all done it, and I guess it’s in our human nature, to especially compare and spot the differences we wish we could see.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting someone to be better, and to be the best version of themselves, and this is certainly not an acceptance of people being awful, but, unfortunately in life you can’t change anybody. No matter how hard you try. You could invest your all in a person, put yourself at a disadvantage because you’re trying so hard to change them. I’ve heard this narrative many times, “I can be the one to make him/her change”, “I’ll change him”. Literally, the only time that you can change someone is changing a babies clothing or diaper. The point being, who a person is, doesn’t get changed by you. As much as this is annoying, this is something to be aware of. You can’t change someone, it’s not your job to
I will admit, I’m a bit of a control freak. When things aren’t quite going according to the plan in my head, I panic. Like, if I’m having an argument and the person isn’t saying exactly what I had planned for them to say in my head, (sorry, you’re seeing a bit too much into my head right now!), I digress. I can want someone to be a certain way, and think if they became more like how I want them, they’d be great. But that never is going to happen. I tell you this, so if you relate to this, know you’re really not alone.
We all have different stengths and weaknesses. Just because my strength may be different to yours, doesn’t undermine or compare to yours. We’re all different and that’s for a reason. Same goes for my weaknesses. Just because my weakness may be something you excel in, that doesn’t make me any less than you. It’s all about accepting, that you were built in your own way, not for me to change but for me to embrace who you are, in all your many ways.
In 1 Corinthians 12, the bible talks about different parts of the (physical) body, as a metaphor to explain the fact that the body of Christ (the Church), is made up of different members, but are necessary. There’s a need for every part, and every person. The ones who you think are weaker, are the ones who are the most necessary. We can undermine people, we can think that because they have differences, however, accept them for who they are.
Someone once said to me “you’re not a rock”, and through studying brain plasticity, I learnt how our brain constantly changes and adapts. People can and do change. There’s no doubt about that. But if you live and only love someone depending on the hope that one day they’ll change and become what you want and what you envision them to be, you may end up waiting for a very long time.
One thing I love about my faith is that God loves us, so much, that he sent his son to die, that on the off chance you believe, grace and eternal life is there for you. He’s not loving you because he wants you to change. He loves you anyway. Whether you change or not and I think that’s the example I want to follow. When I choose to love, I embrace who they are now. I can’t want to change who they are yet proclaim to love them.
So this week, I urge you to embrace someone the way they are now. Because, sure they may not be where they want to be, but they’re definitely not where they were. Embrace their journey as we have no idea what it took for another to be here now. Love the person not the idea of them in the future. Pray for fulfilment of purpose and be patient with them, (protecting yourself too)
I hope this post reaches you well.
peace love and all the joy ♥️